Week 12 End - Adapt and Overcome

It was a good week in some respects and a tough week in others. I met my weight loss goal for the week, but my workout schedule has suffered. I lost a total of 4 lbs for the week, bringing my total loss so far to 47, which is outstanding. It's great when you can see progress of this type (and it doesn't happen every week). I am extremely pleased with that. I am excited to be closing in on the halfway mark of this year's goal and the 1/3 mark for my total goal.

Where my disappointment has come in, is that for the first time since I started to the gym on 2/8/16, I have missed 3 days in a row. Today, being Easter Sunday, is of course excusable, as the gym is not open. Friday and Saturday, I just couldn't do it. I have managed to get a miserable cold (initially thought it was allergies). It has just sapped my strength so entirely that a workout was out of the question. I left a charity motorcycle ride early on Saturday, because my head closed up so completely, that I could only breath through my mouth. I have been able to keep my calorie count under my allowances, but I'm missing out on the bonus calorie burn the workouts have been giving me. Hopefully this thing will run its course quickly and I can get back to normal.

It's a little frightening to go near our kitchen today. My wife is cooking a feast that is as big as anything we've had for Thanksgiving or Christmas (both before I started this journey). What makes it so scary is that it's all my favorites. It is going to be very hard to control my eating later today. I do plan to go out for an hour walk later in order to burn off some of the calories. I hope my cold will cooperate.

I had a very up and down week at the gym this week. I think because I was getting sick, some days were just extremely tough.

Monday, I had the best workout I think I've had to date. In my hour I was able to add two miles to my average distance from previous weeks. That was the high mark.

On Tuesday, I struggled with every step. I put in 1/2 hour on my machine of choice (the recumbent elliptical) and was still struggling so much, I changed up and moved to a tread mill for the second 1/2 hour. I intend to start transitioning to more walking in order to prepare for the upcoming Color Walk/Run in June. But, it was more a matter of just not being able to put the time in on the other machine that had me change over.

Wednesday was very tough again until about the 30 minute mark. I think at that point I had sweated this thing out enough, that all of the sudden I was able to get in gear and finish strong.

Thursday was a mediocre day. I mostly went through the motions. I got the workout and the steps in, but it was all very hard. I was glad that I did drag myself to the gym in the end.

The weekend has been a total wash. My good intentions and desire have just not met up with the physical ability to get the workout in. As I am typing this, I am having sweats, and the house is only about 73*.

It's very important that I push through this and continue to work hard on this journey. I really hope to be able to announce at next weekend's weigh in that I have passed the 50 lb. mark. I need 3 more lbs. to do this, and normally I would be very confident. I'm just a little worried at this point because of the missed workouts and the illness, that I may not hit the mark. In any case, it will surely fall soon.

I will say it was very uplifting to have many people noticing and mentioning my weight loss this past week. For the first time since I started this journey, it seems that it is finally noticeable. This effort is not about recognition, it's about reclaiming my life. But, it is very encouraging when people see you and realize that something is happening. This IS about transformation, and the fact that there are finally visible signs of that transformation out there is very heartening. Of course there is a very long way to go, and it is not going to get any easier. But, this is a lifestyle change. I'm in for the long haul and for those who have been so encouraging.... You ain't seen nothin' yet!

For your entertainment. Here is a collage of pictures over the last 3 months. It will only get more interesting from here.

Progress as of 3/27/2016

Week 11 - Fighting Through

The past week has been very up and down. I've had some of my best workouts so far, then other days they were the toughest ever. I'm discovering that sleep and eating are the keys to good workouts. On the days I had a really tough time I had not gotten much sleep and my lunch was rushed. Yesterday was a prime example. I had a 4 hour training following my regular shift. I came home and got about 4 hours sleep, hopped up, ate a quick sandwich then headed to the gym. I was miserable for the entire workout. I had to back the level down on the machine a couple of notches, and I was sore and exhausted when I was done.  On the good days, like today, I had restful sleep and a nice lunch before going to the gym. I felt great from the beginning and was able to burn the most calories (according to fitbit) of any single workout to date.

I am proud of the fact that even on the tough days I have been able to push through and complete a workout, even though I felt very rough doing it. But, it is so much better when I feel good before, during and after the workout.

My workouts are integral to my plan, so I feel an obligation to complete them except on a planned non-workout day (so far there has only been one of those). I mentioned last week that I did miss a second day due to my foray into plumbing repair. That was not a day I planned to miss. But, I do recognize that flexibility in a schedule can be good and necessary, and in the end, the single missed workout did not stop my overall plan.

Octane Fitness XR6000
Recumbent Elliptical

My workout plan is pretty straight forward at this point. I am still in weight loss mode as my main priority (and will be for some time). I do 1 hour of cardio each day with an additional 4 minute cool down. My current machine of choice is the Octane Fitness XR6000 recumbent elliptical. At my current weight of about 336 lbs., and having two bad knees, this machine makes it possible to get a good workout without terrible knee pain. It exercises both legs and arms like an elliptical, but because you are seated, it takes most of the stress off the knees. This has been incredibly important in my ability to continue a daily workout routine. This machine purportedly burns more calories than a stationary bike. My goal is to get enough weight off, that I can comfortably move to a regular elliptical machine where I can likely burn twice the calories. But, that will be several pounds down the road yet.

TaoTronics Bluetooth Earbuds

I've talked to many friends and co-workers about how I am dieting and working out. One of the universal things I hear, is that they just can't seem to be able to handle a whole hour on a machine basically going no where. To this my reply is, you have to find what works for you and your situation. I am someone who can "zone out" and get into my music or think about things during my workout. I don't just sit there counting down until its over. My current physical limitations force me to use a machine like this in order to get in a workout without a lot of pain. I listen to music while I work out and pace my efforts to the music. I change up my playlist depending on my mood, and I have ongoing and adapting personal goals that I work toward during the workout. I have my music on my Samsung Galaxy S5 phone and listen to it with a set of TaoTronics bluetooth earbuds. I got the earbuds on Amazon for about $20. They have great sound, and, because they are wireless (bluetooth), they don't interfere with my movement.

Workout 3/17/16

I run my machine program on manual, entering a 60 minute workout, my age, current weight, and a resistance level of 8 (currently). When I look back on my workout history (fitbit keeps nice records for me) I note that I could not do an hour starting out. However, several weeks in now, and most days an hour is not difficult. In order to keep it interesting I have been trying to increase the distance that I go in the allotted hour. The machine shows laps (1/4 mi), speed, time and miles traveled. When I started I was trying to make about a 7 minute mile (this is not the same as running, but it gives me goals to work with). I am now closing in on a 5 minute mile and actually attained that once this week (that's 12 miles in that 60 minute period). I watch my lap breaks and sometimes have to sprint to make the break I need, which keeps it interesting. Of course there's differences int he tempo of the music as well. I try to at least follow that tempo if not exceed it or double it.

Workout 3/17/16

I should note that my fitbit only records about 800 steps per mile on the machine. I use the calculation of distance on the machine for my inspiration and pace during the workout. The actual distance is irrelevant except for the purpose of gauging my progress during the workout. The calorie burn does not match either, but I have found that over the past few weeks, the calories recorded by fitbit seem to be accurate according to the corresponding weight loss. I use those machine readouts strictly for motivation during the workout. The machine today showed me just over 12.5 miles while my fitbit indicated about 1/2 that.

I am currently not doing any strength training (weights) as I am going for calorie burn in my workouts right now. Once I get to my goal weight or at least nearer to it, I will start to do a little weight training as well. With my Myasthenia Gravis, I have to be careful of fatigue and can't over do it, so intense weight training will likely never be a reality, but certainly some work and toning will be possible.

There's on ongoing debate on MyFitnessPal (the app I use for logging my eating) as to whether to eat your additional exercise calories or not. My opinion is, do what works for you. I currently do not eat those additional calories (not most days anyway). But, my resting calorie allowance without the workouts is still pretty high (currently 2150). On the other hand, my wife who is obviously not as big as I am, is only allotted about 1600 calories a day. When I get to that amount, I may start to eat some of those calories. I have basically been doubling my calorie deficit per day for the last several weeks. That has allowed me to maintain a pretty consistent and sizable weight loss each week (3-5 lbs instead of 1-2lbs). I have a lot of weight to take off so I am good with eating about 2000 calories/day and getting some extra loss from it. 2000 calories is a good healthy intake according to my doctor. As my weight goes down, I will have to cut more calories, or start getting into my workout calories, which will mean a slowdown in loss. I'm OK with that and will decide which to do when that time comes. My inclination at this point is to maintain the 2000 cal./day level and increase my exercise if necessary, but we will see if that is still where I'm at when the time comes.

In a nutshell, that is what I am doing workout wise  at this time. Remember that I am faithfully logging my food intake (even snacks), and am actively keeping the calorie count to around 2000/day.

This is not rocket science. Anyone can do this. You just have to find your motivation. That is the other most heard comment from friends and co-workers. "I just can't get myself motivated to do what I need to do". I get that, and recognize that I was in the same place for years. It took coming to some harsh realizations to find my personal motivation.

The first realization I had to come to was that I was truly much fatter than I was willing to acknowledge. I was a thin person growing up and into early adulthood. Those who know me now find it hard to believe, but it is true. Because of that, I had to get past thinking of myself as I used to be, but, just a little overweight. I had to acknowledge that I have become truly obese to the detriment of my health and lifestyle.

The second truth I had to come to grips with, was that making excuses for the way I am is not going to change anything and I will only get worse until I decide to take control. I had a big list of excuses. I have Myasthenia Gravis and can't work out. Yes I have limitations, but the past few weeks are proof that I can in fact work out as long as I stay within my limitations and proceed reasonably. My knees are so bad I can't work out. Again not really true. I just had to find the right way to work out, again within my limitations. I don't have time to go to the gym. Not really true. I found plenty of time to watch TV or do other things I wanted to do. I just had to adjust my priorities to make getting to the gym towards the top. I'll start working on getting into better shape after I retire. It's too hard to accomplish anything on night shift. I was getting to the point where I might have to retire because I could no longer do my job, not to find time to try and improve my life. In the state I was in, I wouldn't have been able to do any of the things I had planned for retirement.

My motivation comes from the things I am gaining. As with any addiction, and I think it's safe to call my unhealthy lifestyle an addiction, you sometimes have to hit rock bottom before you can make meaningful change. No I wasn't addicted to drugs or alcohol. My addiction was to eating and inactivity.

I won't go so far as to say I have an eating disorder. That would be a disservice to those who have a real disorder. But, I did eat foolishly. I thought about food all the time. I have had to change the way I think about food and approach eating. It's much more difficult than it sounds for an habitual eater. I found that I would be careful what I ate in front of people, but when no one was around... Katie bar the door! What has allowed me to make the changes is my need to be healthy again. I was tired of the pain and all the stuff that goes along with being way too fat. Sometime I will share tricks of the trade that only fat people know. My need to be "normal" again outweighs any compulsion I have for food. Luckily I have a stubborn and somewhat addictive personality. While that may sound funny, It can be an asset once you have made up your mind to make a change. That addiction to eating is now turned around to an addiction to becoming healthy again.

My other big issue was inactivity. This is maybe the most insidious of all since it can so easily sneak up on you. I truly believe that inactivity breeds inactivity. The bad part is, the longer you allow it to go on, the harder it is to change. I have stage 4 arthritis in both knees. Activity is hard an painful most of the time. Doctors will tell you that the best way to combat the arthritis is to be active and keep moving. That's easier said than done. They're not the one in pain. The thing is, they are absolutely right. The less I did, the less I could do. It took coming to a place where I realized that I could continue to spiral into disability and be one of those pathetic overweight people who need the motorized cart at Walmart, or I could suck it up and do my best to do whatever little I could do. I am now able to get to the gym everyday and have been able to increase my mobility hugely. But, it first took taking that first painful step.

You must find your own motivation. No one can find it for you. My wife and daughter tried to get me going for several years, but until I found my own motivation it was no good. I look forward to retirement, travel and someday walking my daughter down the aisle. Now I know that it is not just a dream. I will be ready for all those things when the time comes.

Thank you to my family and friends who have been so supportive so far in this journey. It is so very helpful.

To the many who have said that my journey has inspired them to make changes for themselves, keep going. Every day is a new chance to move closer to your goals. Here's a favorite quote of mine from motivational teacher Tony Robbins.

"No matter how many mistakes you make or how slowly you progress, you are still way ahead of anyone who isn't trying." -Tony Robbins

Week 10 End - Close, But No Cigar!

I'm a little late getting this post done. I had a good week this week and was pleased with how I have been feeling and my progress. It was however a rather hectic weekend.

I had really good workouts most of the week and have continued to see a reduction in blood sugars as well as the fit of clothes. You would think with all the progress, I wouldn't be so impatient, but as usual I continue to wish things would progress more quickly.

3/12/2016 39.2 lbs.

This week's weigh in showed a loss of an additional 4.2 lbs.. That is encouraging, but again, that brought my total to just under 40 lbs. and of course I was hoping this would be the week I broke that barrier. I'm still very much ahead of schedule, but I always want to clear that next hurdle. I look at this thing as another challenge in my life and just want to overcome it. I know that it took years to get where I was and it will not disappear overnight, but I can't help but want to get there as soon as I can.

Don't worry. I know that I need to maintain a healthy weight loss strategy and continue to do so. It seems my battle is with my ego and desire as much as with the food and exercise.

I have had a great streak of getting to the gym since I started back in February. I started Feb. 8 (the day after Super Bowl Sunday) and have only missed 2 days in that time. The first was because I was out of town for the day and did not get back in time to make the gym. I was good with that. The second was this past Saturday. I was not so OK with that one.

I think I can safely say that I am somewhat addicted to the workouts and the extra calorie buffer it provides. While I continue to only eat what I am allotted without the exercise (at least most days), those exercise calories are bonus for me and help to contribute to my lead on my scheduled weight loss.

I started the day with every intention of getting to the gym. I was feeling particularly inspired to get some of the things done around the house that I had been putting off for some time, namely, a leaking tub/shower faucet and a leaking sink faucet. We set out for Lowe's armed with a shopping list. I had even pre-searched the location of the parts I needed with their "app" in order to streamline the shopping experience (I'm not a big fan of shopping). We picked up the parts and headed for home, ever optimistic that I would master the leaks in short order, then move on for the day.

I started with the tub/shower in my daughter's bathroom. It went off without and hitch, and I was very proud of myself when I showed my wife that the leak was gone. Next up, the sink in our master bath. This thing has been leaking for some time and has gotten progressively worse, so I was really wanting to deal with it, as the dripping has become really annoying. You can hear it from our bed.

Now, I had tried to address this faucet once in the past without success. This thing was original to the house and is therefore about 30 years old. The fix should be pretty straight forward. Pull the cartridge, replace a couple of O-rings and the spring seats and put it back together. The problem I had run into before was that I couldn't get it apart. This time I thought I had it licked. I was going to break out my trusty torch and a HUGE pair of channel locks.

Well since this is about how I missed the gym, you can guess, my bright idea didn't turn out to be so bright. As I was fussing and fuming and telling my wife that the stupid thing wasn't worth fixing anyway, she suggested maybe we could just install the new faucet that we had sitting in the garage waiting for a future remodel of this bathroom. Well, one thing lead to another, and we decided that we might as well  add the new sink/vanity as well (also waiting for the remodel). That's when the trouble started. Have any of you met my friend Mr. Murphy?

We removed the old vanity and sink without too much issue. We pulled the new set up out of the box, and looked it over and recognized several issues immediately. Now, remember that this was set aside for a future remodel of this bathroom, which was to entail re-arranging of all the fixtures in the bathroom. In it's current location, the drain for the sink came in from the left side of the vanity and the water lines came up out of the floor. To install this the way it was, would entail drilling a rather large hole in the side of the vanity to accommodate the drain. Were this the final resting place for the sink, that would have been ok. But, since that wasn't the case, I really didn't want to butcher a brand new (and relatively costly) vanity.

My wife suggested maybe we get a cheap sink and vanity for the time being and put that in. (The old one was no longer an option after removal) That of course got me to thinking that surely there was a less expensive way to deal with this (though certainly not easier). I proposed moving the drain to the wall behind the sink eliminating the need to drill the new vanity and positioning the drain similarly to the way we will use it in the future. Of course that idea led to the idea that we should also move the supply lines so that we don't have them coming up through the floor of the cabinet, which cuts down on the usable storage space down there. Remember, this is all a result of a dripping faucet.

My Saturday Gym Day

Well to shorten an already long and growing story, 2 more trips to Lowe's, and $150+ later, We had moved the drain and the supply lines. I was soaked from both drain water and supply water. I ruined a new t-shirt with PVC solvent and by 11 pm that night we finally gave up and went to bed.

Two more trips to Lowe's the next day finally gave us an installed sink that does not drip. There is still a little bit of trim work and caulking to do, but, we have a functioning sink (and it looks pretty nice if I do say so myself).

I was kind of upset at missing the gym on Sat.. But, in retrospect, it wasn't the big deal I made it out to be at the time. I was feeling guilty about a big lunch (1100+ calories, I still thought we were going to the gym). In the end, I tailored my dinner accordingly and still managed to stay just under my goal calories for the day. The sky didn't fall and I didn't magically put back on any of the weight I have lost. I just have to remember that this is a process and there will be times when the gym isn't an option. The funny part is, I didn't really eat any more calories than I do when I go to the gym, and I almost never eat my exercise calories. So, I don't really know why it seemed so traumatic at the time.

We returned to the gym the next day and all is right in my sort of skewed universe. It has occurred to me that I have gone on in several posts about going to the gym without actually sharing what my routine is. I will try to post an update that outlines what I am actually doing in the near future.

For those who continue to follow this journey with me, thank you for your support and encouragement. For those who have begun a lifestyle change as a result, keep up the good work. You can do this! Be well my friends, until next time.

Week 9 End - A tougher week

It's been another good, but tough week. While I was able to maintain my diet and did make it to the gym every day, it was much tougher for some reason this week. I found myself having to force myself to get to the gym. When I was there, I had some of the my best workouts yet. I put in more miles and intensity than in weeks past and I felt good doing it. I'm not sure was made it so hard to get there.

3/5/16 down 2.4 lbs (total 35 lbs)

It was a slow week for weight loss as well. After a banner week last week (5.6 lbs) I only registered a loss of 2.4 lbs this week. That's still hugely ahead of my scheduled pace of 2-2.5 lbs. a week (currently a total of 35 lbs. in 9 weeks). But, it's still a let down after a big week last week. Especially since I was about 1000 extra calories under my allowance each day. Even though I know I'm in this for the long haul and I know I'm doing great, I still find it hard to wait.

I'm finding that I am getting to the gym regularly without too much problem (aside from my having to push myself to do it some days), but I am not getting a lot else accomplished on work days. That of course is one of the hazards of being a night shifter. It seems like during your work week you only work and sleep. I am now struggling with how to better manage my time to accomplish some other things during the week. I'm not sure what the answer is yet, but, I'm sure I'll come up with something.

The big up side this week, is that people have finally been noticing the weight loss. I've said before, when you're as overweight as I am, 25 lbs is like taking a bucket of sand off the beach, but, I have been noticing the fit of my clothes and lately so have some others. I am discovering new things I can wear that I have had in the closet for a long time (many still with tags). We have even been looking in the stores and planning to buy some "regular sized" clothes for later this summer. I can see that excess skin is going to be an issue in the future, but it's a small price to pay for the relief I am feeling already. I am able to walk around stores etc. with minimal pain in my knees (it's never fully gone since they are basically shot), and with daily workouts (cardio at this point) it seems my blood pressure and blood sugar are doing very well as well. I am looking forward to my next regular doctor's appointment in early May to see if the bloodwork will bear out what I am seeing. One of my goals is to be able to get rid of the diabetic meds and possibly the cholesterol and blood pressure meds as well. My doctor indicated to me at the start of this in Jan. that if I indeed lose the weight that I have said I intend to lose, I will likely be able to do that. Especially the diabetic meds..

I don't know that I have any particular wisdom to impart this week. Maybe the overall message is, when you get so far into a long term program (read that lifestyle change), at some point the newness wears off and it is sometimes more of a daily grind. I think I hit that point. The good news is, the new habits I have been working on engraining have been taking over and I have pushed through the feelings that might stray me from my goals. I absolutely have to fight with myself when perusing the junk-food drawer (yes we have one too), and I have had to "make" myself get ready and go to the gym. But, the good news is in each occasion, I did it.

Again, thank you to all those who have been expressing support and good wishes. It really does mean a lot. Someone has made the statement that I put this journey out there to get an "attaboy" or attention. While the support is definitely a plus, the real reason I wanted to put it out is the accountability it forces on me by making my goals public. Think what you want. I know that I will work harder to prove to myself and my friends that I am going to see this through.

Until next time my friends.